"Lunchtime at RMS" rough draft due Monday 2/9!

What I will be looking for in this essay:

• Clear organization, and a smooth trip for the reader
• Your special attitude!
• Strong opening paragraph and closing paragraph
• Vivid description and interesting word choice (not “nice”)
• Correct spelling, verb tense and number, complete sentences

Organization

We discussed several ways you might organize your description of RMS lunchtime.

• The senses
• Paragraph 2: What I see during lunchtime
• Paragraph 3: What I hear during lunchtime
• Paragraph 4: What I smell during lunchtime

• Chronological
• Paragraph 2: Early in the lunch period
• Paragraph 2 Early in the period
• Paragraph 4 End of the period

• Place:
• Paragraph 2: The Beanery
• Paragraph 3: The Cafeteria
• Paragraph 4: The Yard

There might be more!

YOUR special attitude

This is the fun part! What is YOUR statement about lunchtime at RMS? Here are some examples of a “special attitude” toward this topic:

• If you listen to your senses, even lunchtime is amazing.
  RMS lunchtime is a sensory hell
  There’s a weird kind of beauty during lunchtime at RMS.
• Students act like farm animals at feeding time.
• Strange things happen when 450 people get fed at the same time.

Listen to your own thoughts, and take some time with this part. Each one of you is amazingly sassy, creatively strange or wonderfully twisted in some unique way. Your attitude is your VOICE as a writer, and I want to hear it in your writing! Otherwise, I won’t have fun reading it! And you won’t get an A! Hahahahaha!


Your opening paragraph

• Starts the reader on a smooth trip
• Gets the reader’s attention. (Your special attitude is one good way to do this.)
• Tells the reader what you’re going to do, and how your essay will be organized ·
• Gives the reader an idea of your special attitude toward the topic
• Goes from general to specific. Example:

They say dogs are man’s best friends, but I’m not so sure. Some dogs seem to make it their mission in life to prove that statement false. Take my Siberian Husky, for example…

Topic sentences keep the trip smooth, from paragraph to paragraph (transition)

• Keep your main idea going through all the paragraphs.
• Keep the reader focused on your topic and your attitude, but don’t make it dull!

(Examples of dullness:

• Paragraph 2: “What I see when I have lunch is…
• Paragraph 3: “What I taste when I have lunch is…
• Paragraph 4: “What I smell when I have lunch is…”

Yawn.

Here’s a better way:

• Paragraph 2: “First, my eyes are offended by…
• Paragraph 3: “My taste buds are the next to suffer.
• Paragraph 4: “My nose knows not to breathe too deeply…”

What the closing paragraph does

• restates your special attitude
• sends reader back to her/his world
• ends with a pop!

PS: If you're not having fun, you're not doing it right!!!